if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.