Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.