Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
They have beer where we have blood.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice