I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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