Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
