I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
no you cant smoke seaweed
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
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