just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
