if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
