I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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