yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
