in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
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theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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