if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
