I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
