My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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