ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
