he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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