My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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