how do flat chested girls get laid?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
