Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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