I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
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do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
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I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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