I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
