walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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