I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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