What a fucking waste of an outfit
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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