Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
