Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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