He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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