i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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