They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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