Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
