People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
