i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
