found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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