Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
All the doctor said was why
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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