Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
