Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Don't make out with my wife yet
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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