He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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