Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize