I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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