Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
