she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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