i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
