Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
