she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
