he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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