I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize