he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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