Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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