Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
