More tranny stories later!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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