That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize