I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
