i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
