P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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