Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
