even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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