Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize