Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Randomize
