bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
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Be still, my beating vagina.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
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I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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